The more I obsess with and outright fear death.
There are many young-ish people like me that get cancer and just die from random stuff.
I want to see my kid grow up. See what kind of person she ends up being.
I’ll always want *more* though. Once I see her graduate from high school, I’ll want to see her be a young adult. I want to see who her friends are, her romantic partners are. What kind of things are important to her. Who *her* kids are, if applicable.
There is no acceptable time to die. I’m living my happy awesome life in sadness because I don’t see how I’ll ever EVER be OK with death.